These Ties That Bind
by theCalliope
Summary: As the Enterprise moves farther away from Earth, crew relationships, close quarters and family problems pose challenges to Spock and Nyota's relationship
1. Unwinding

"Amanda Grayson," Spock said to the guard standing at gate of the storage center. The guard looked at him sceptically, as if he was sure Spock's name wasn't 'Amanda Grayson.'

"My late mother," Spock explained, "I have the code and you can check her will on the computer."

"That's okay," the guard said, looking surprised, but letting him in.

_Yes, my father did enjoy sleeping with humans_, Spock thought at the guard angrily and then suppressed the thought.

He really did need to meditate.

For the past five days, he had been on vacation with Nyota. She had found a nice, out- of-the-way resort in the Dominican that had almost no human customers. It had been ideal, everyone seemed so used to other cultures that no one found it odd that he refused to drink alcohol, swam fully clothed or sat demurely and watched while Nyota danced the limbo.

Only one incident had bothered him. He was sitting on the beach and had indulgently put one arm around Nyota's waist when a Vulcan father with two children had walked by. He was in the midst of explaining how the moon's gravity affected the tide when he saw Spock and quickly hurried his children away.

Nyota had given him a sorry expression, to which he had only replied,

"I am used to it."

But much to his surprise, the man had approached him later in the lobby.

"I did not intend any offense," the man apologized, "But you must understand that children do what they see."

Spock was still offended and replied,

"I understand completely. You see, I am only half Vulcan."

Nyota had tittered slightly when he said this, and the man had ignored her. Spock then realized that this all was rather rich from a man who had taken his children for a beach vacation and whose daughter had been wearing long hair and a short dress.

The man seemed to read his mind.

"It has become much worse on the new home world," he said, "The council, they are telling us who to marry, how many children to have, what jobs to take. Raising my children in a different culture is difficult, but I want them to be free."

"My father is on the council," Spock spat defensively.

The man's eyes opened up, as if he suddenly realized who he was talking to.

"You are Sarek's son," he said, "Sometimes I think that Sarek is the only man who has the experience to realize what happens when people turn their back on their values in a crisis. Of course, he is in the minority."

Spock had talked to his father about his views on Vulcan policy, but he had clearly overestimated his support.

"I apologize," the man said again, "My children want to dress like their friends, act like their friends, go on spring break vacation like their friends, and I know I must allow it. They are at the top of their classes and the teachers admire their discipline, but by Vulcan standards, their education is substandard and they are extremely undisciplined. They will not be able to adapt if we return. When I saw you two, I realized that there is no other possibility for their future. I meant no ill."

This time, Spock believed him. And he knew that even being half human, he saw and did things he didn't like on a daily basis. He had more sympathy for the man than he would admit in front of Nyota.

"Live long and prosper," he said, walking off.

"I must contact my father," Spock said on the elevator, "The Federation cannot be aware that the situation is this bad."

"It's just one guy," she replied, "He could have a beef."

"I am inclined to believe him," Spock stated. Besides the Vulcan taboo against lying, there was something about the man's tone that made him seem credible.

"But it can wait a few days, can't it?" Nyota said sounding a bit worried. She had been looking forward to the vacation for several months.

There was logic to that statement.

"I will need to meditate," he said when he returned to their room, "I must admit that I found that conversation ... disturbing."

Nyota looked at him sadly, and for twenty minutes, she was quiet, but then she started moving about the room and accidentally-on-purpose making noise. She wanted his attention.

"That is enough of that," he said once he realized that further attempts would be futile, and got up and grabbed her by the waist. Lacking the self-control meditation brought, he was a little too rough. But she screamed gleefully.

*****

"Where do you think you are going?" he had snapped, awaking in the final day to find her out of bed, looking in the mirror.

"I'm getting dressed," she'd replied, " We need to check out soon."

"That is not for several hours," he'd said, motioning her back into bed.

"You've become so demanding," she'd teased with a seductive look on her face that he knew shouldn't work anymore, but somehow did.

"Somebody ..." he mock-accused, "Has been preventing me from..."

Then he'd kissed her, not being able to put it off any longer.

It was the bell-hop that had brought him to his senses. When he had dropped his bags, Spock had nearly snapped at him. Bell-hops sometimes drop bags, he'd told himself over and over, but it hadn't quelled the rage that he wouldn't normally have felt. It was then that he realized how selfish he was being. He could have easily snapped at someone. Nyota had been playing games with him, but he had let her.

A lot of what he supressed were good feelings.

"I need to really meditate before we see your parents," he had told her, and she had found this amusing. She'd left him alone for two whole hours.

****

The relief was fleeting. Much like the last time, he was the elephant in the room. Nyota's parents had never said a hostile word to him, but they weren't friendly either. This annoyed Spock more than outright hostility. When people said something, he at least could make himself feel better by getting off a few clever remarks, or watching their exasperation as his failure to react.

Only the sister had changed. While it had been just a year, she looked much different. She had started wearing makeup and had dyed her hair a horrible shade of blond. Now, whenever she looked at Spock, she wore an expression of curiosity.

Still, by the evening, Spock had had enough. He told Nyota that he needed to get his mother's things and make some visits. He didn't know when they might be back on Earth again. She laughed, and told him not to worry, she needed to have long chat with her sister.

"About what?" Spock inquired.

"A large number of subjects," she replied.

"Such as?" he pushed.

"Hair," she spat, waving him off.

Spock took a public transporter to San Francisco, where it was still mid-day, and then walked to the storage center.

After passing the guard, he opened up his mother's locker and rifled through.

Most of what was in there was not worth taking, books on human education, clothes she could only wear on Earth. Then Spock found a framed picture of his mother and himself as a child. Kirk would approve, Spock thought, he had been suggesting that Spock put some pictures at his desk in the lab to make him seem more approachable. He put it in his bag.

After a bit more sorting, he found what he was looking for: his mother's old jewellery box. Ignoring some of the more valuable human pieces, he pulled out a ring and a broach. They were made out of what humans called "Vulcan moonstone," although it really didn't come from a moon at all. It was not a valuable substance, mostly used to make costume jewelery, but now it was one of the few remain pieces of the Vulcan soil. Spock ran his hands across the pieces before putting them in his pocket.

"Are you closing down the locker?" the guard asked as Spock walked out.

"No," he responded, "My father might come by and get some things."

But Spock thought he had taken everything irreplaceable.

Still feeling irritated, Spock walked towards a famous IDIC temple that was nearby. When he got to the door, he was greeted by a human in Vulcan robes.

"You look like you've had a rough day," the human said.

Resisting his urge to throttle him, Spock walked right by and into the sanctuary.

* * *

**_A/N: This story is a continuation of "The Lost Boys", but you shouldn't need to have read it to follow this story. It's going to be a bit more political and S/U focused though_**


	2. Conversations

The rest of the visit went without incident, but perhaps it was because Nyota gave Spock a lot of space. She asked whether he had got his mother's things all right and squealed over the picture, but otherwise didn't comment on his hours of absence or his demeanour.

This suited Spock just fine. He sat and read and generally tried to avoid Nyota's family until it was time to return to the Enterprise.

"How was shore leave?" Kirk asked as he stepped onto the bridge.

"Better than last time," he replied.

Kirk chuckled.

"Still, I can tell you're glad to be back."

Spock didn't think that Kirk should be able to tell anything.

"How was your shore leave?" he asked.

Kirk laughed darkly.

"Well, it was good until about half an hour in when Bones got himself arrested," he chortled, lowering his voice.

"Drunk and disorderly?" Spock guessed.

Kirk gave him a dirty look.

"Restraining order violation. He's not supposed to see his daughter, but off course he decides to go by her school anyway. One of his ex-wife's friends saw him called the police."

"Is he in trouble?" Spock asked a little hopefully.

For a second, Kirk looked angry, but he held back.

"No," he articulated, "_Fortunately_, I was able to convince the judge that since he spends most of his time on a starship, his risk of reoffending is low."

Spock was unconvinced.

"For heaven's sake," Kirk spat, "He just tried to see his kid. It's not like he tried to kill anyone or something."

"Not this week," Spock stated, a little bit bitterly.

"Spock," Kirk whispered, "It's been months since he attacked you."

It had also been months since Spock had been able to work up the courage to attend a social event, but he didn't say anything.

"I am simply stating what I consider to be the facts," he replied instead.

"Then you can't deny that he's been doing a lot better."

"It is true that he has managed not to injure himself or any other crew members," Spock admitted.

Kirk looked at him for a minute, and then shrugged.

"Anyhow, the rest of shore leave sucked after that, we tried to meet some girls, but the only girl Bones was interested in is six years old."

"That must have been a disappointment," Spock commented demurely.

Kirk gave him an irritated glare.

*****

Spock dialled his father quickly. He saw no reason to wait any longer.

"Good evening," he said as soon as his father answered.

"Good evening," his father replied. His voice was monotone, but Spock could tell he was worried. This was not unexpected, considering Spock never called him unplanned unless it was an emergency.

"I am well," Spock stated, hoping to dispel any worry, "I recently completed a week of shore leave on Earth, and I had an encounter with a supporter of yours that I wish to discuss."

"A supporter?" Sarek asked, "Who?"

"I did not ask his name," Spock responded, "But he stated that he had relocated to Earth because he found the Council's rules to be too imposing."

"That would be S'von," Sarek said.

"And is what he stated true?" Spock asked curiously, "He said that the council is making laws regarding marriage and reproduction."

"Laws, no," Sarek said, "But there has been some pressure."

"Pressure?" Spock asked.

"Publishing lists of recommended matches. Portraying people who refuse to bond as selfish and damaging to the future of Vulcan race," Sarek replied. His face was inscrutable.

"S'von," Sarek continued slowly, "Is disciplined enough to avoid the ... biological need for a mate, and thinks that it is logical to focus on his existing children before having others."

"Do you agree with him?" Spock asked.

"There is some logic to his point of view," Sarek admitted, "But more importantly, I do not believe that the Council should be concerning itself with such decisions. It had never been the role of the Council to interfere with the lives of ordinary people."

"But they do not agree."

"The reality," Sarek stated, "Is that almost all of the survivors were in space at the time of the disaster, and while some chose a career in space for logical reasons, others chose it because they disliked living on Vulcan or preferred another lifestyle. Now that the initial shock has worn off, some do not feel a duty to assist in rebuilding."

Spock thought about this. He felt the occasional pang of guilt for not returning to New Vulcan, but having been mistreated by so many Vulcans kept the pangs occasional.

"As much as I disapprove," Sarek continued, "Logically, it is not practical or possible to force people to behave in ways they do not want, especially in family matters. I also think it is immoral. However, the council does not agree"

"Do you believe that the situation is serious enough for the Federation to intervene?" Spock asked.

Sarek considered this for a moment.

"I agree that what is happening goes against the Federation 's ideals, but I would ask that at this time, you do not report it to them. No official policy has been broken yet. I still have hopes of changing the Council's course in this matter."

Spock nodded in agreement.

"Son," Sarek said after a minute, "I have other news for you."

"What is that?" Spock asked.

"I have found a new mate. We are to be bonded next week."

Spock was surprised, and a bad feeling rose in the pit of his stomach. He tried not to show either.

"Were you pressured?" he asked.

"No," Sarek snapped, "I have been pursuing T'yla for some time. I believe that I spoke of her before."

This was true, but Spock had assumed it was something he was planning for much later. He had assumed that his father was still greiving for his mother.

"Are you sure?" he whispered, "It seems very soon ..."

"Concern for the dead does not change their situation," Sarek recited, "Besides ... there are other factors..."

Sarek's voice deepened.

"You must be aware that the mating time is drawing near."

Spock knew this the way he knew the exact composition of every part of the Enterprise, but he had yet to think about it meaningfully.

"While I have made you aware that I disapprove of your mate," Sarek continued, "I must admit you having one makes me more comfortable."

"I have never shown any symptoms," Spock stated quickly, trying to avoid his father's jibe.

"I can tell you are upset," Sarek snapped, "It is something you must strive to stifle."

Spock felt irritated. He stifled that too.


	3. Spring

After the call, Spock stayed frozen looking at the Comm. screen. He was having difficulty processing what he had heard. Deep down, he had known it was coming. His father had spoken about remarrying and having more children, and even mentioned T'yla as a prospect. But he couldn't accept that it was happening so soon.

He got up and started to pace. He wasn't sure what he wanted. For his father to risk death? It would be unthinkable for a Vulcan to make such a choice, even out of grief. And there were the other logical reasons: the destruction of Vulcan, the need for procreation and even his father's personal desire for a larger family. Spock knew it was a perfectly reasonable choice, but still, it bothered him.

He wished his father had been pressured.

Spock meditated until he was calm, and then opened the bottom drawer of his dresser. It contained a sweater and a PADD. The sweater would keep, he decided, so he picked up the PADD and closed the drawer.

*****

"I am returning the PADD you left in my quarters," Spock stated as Nyota opened the door.

"I need to stop forgetting things," she replied with a smile.

But somehow he knew she wouldn't.

"What did your father have to say about New Vulcan?" she continued.

"My father has decided to remarry," Spock stated, ignoring the question.

She looked surprised.

"To the page?" she asked.

Spock nodded. Nyota stood quietly, waiting for him to speak.

"It is too soon," he said finally.

She reached out and took his hand.

"Only he knows that," she said gently.

Spock bristled.

"He does not," he spoke heavily, "He would have remarried immediately after my mother's death if there had been someone willing."

"You don't know that," she whispered, "Just because he saw the matchmaker doesn't mean he was serious. Given the situation, he might have felt he had to."

"He said that he was not pressured," Spock argued.

Nyota put her arms around his neck and pushed one cheek to his,

"He's probably feeling lonely," she whispered, "And he has to move on eventually. It has been a year"

Spock pulled away.

"Why are you always defending him?" he demanded, trying to hide his anger, "To me, it is clear that he never really cared about her, and now that she is dead, he can have the perfect Vulcan family that he always wanted."

Nyota stared at Spock. He looked at the floor, ashamed of his outburst.

"You don't mean that," she said finally, "You know he loved her."

"Saying it is the easy part," Spock insisted darkly.

Nyota walked up to Spock and tentatively put her arms around him. He didn't pull away.

"You know him better than I do," she whispered, "But I think you know that deep down he cares, even if he doesn't show it."

Spock thought about this, and sure, there were moments. But they seemed drowned out by the never ending coldness.

"I guess it is unreasonable to expect him to face death," Spock agreed finally.

"What?" Nyota asked.

*****

"I still don't quite believe you," Nyota teased, tracing a finger over one of Spock's ears.

"It is not amusing," he snapped, "It is a deep secret and a great source of shame."

Unbelievably, Nyota giggled.

"I do not believe you are being very sensitive," he commented.

She unsuccessfully tried to stifle her laughter.

"It's just that they're all so stern," she said, "It's difficult to imagine."

She threw her head back, as if trying to picture more clearly.

"And you," she said, suddenly thinking of it, "Have you ever .."

"No," Spock snapped.

"Really?" she asked, sounding almost disappointed.

"I am half human," he explained.

She thought about this.

"But you have been acting odd lately," she said, "Now, I'm wondering ..."

Spock froze. It was embarrassing enough telling her about Pon Farr in general, but talking about his own body was even worse.

"No one knows what causes Pon Farr," he started, and then paused. Saying the word out loud still felt uncomfortable.

Nyota looked confused.

"People on starships get off-cycle, so they know it is not simply the passage of time," he continued, "It is theorized that it might be caused by changes in the temperature, the intensity of sunlight or even certain plant pollens."

Nyota gave him a strange look, as if she couldn't figure out why this mattered. He stared directly at the floor,

"I think I get a dose of it sometimes."

*****

It had been a few months earlier, when Spock had awoken bright-eyed and meticulous. Normally, there were slight struggles to concentrate, but this day was different. He had worked, undistracted for twelve hours straight. Kirk had had to wave his hand in front of his face to get him to go to dinner.

He'd seen Nyota at dinner, but he wasn't as interested in her as usual. He'd felt so serene, he wasn't really interested in anything. He'd felt like a machine, keeping a perfect beat, unperturbed by anything. It had been a beautifully tranquil feeling.

Like always, he'd had a drawer and a head full of excuses to see her, but he didn't have the desire. Meditation seemed like such a better alternative. So much more predictable. So much less messy.

Eventually, she'd barged in and jumped on him, and he couldn't perform. Being ashamed to have sex, and then being ashamed not to be able to. It was the sort of thing that would have normally made him want to throw furniture, but it hadn't really bothered him. He hadn't even bothered making excuses.

"You aren't attracted to me," Nyota had accused eventually.

A touch of regret beneath the calm was all that had prevented Spock from demurely agreeing that the statement was accurate.

"I am not up to it," he had replied eventually, distantly and shamelessly. There was a worry that he was driving her away, but it was dim and distant. Her body had no longer held any appeal, only her mind. And she hadn't understood. This had never been the tone of their relationship.

She had come to him crying one evening, and he'd finally started to break. He'd felt anger beneath the serenity.

"I am not myself!" he had yelled in self-defence.

It had struck him later that no, he was who he'd always wanted to be.

But he didn't have the words to explain, and she'd remained estranged for the rest of the week.

He had been on an away mission, standing on a planet when it all flooded back. Was it the light or the hot air or some atmospheric chemicals? He hadn't been quite sure, but suddenly he'd known what humans meant when they talked about 'spring in their step'.

Later that day, he'd followed her to her quarters and pressed her to the wall as he tore off her dress.

"What has gotten into you?" she'd exclaimed.

"Regardless of what I do, you ask me that," he had stated demurely as he pulled her to the floor. Thankfully, she had laughed and been forgiving.

He'd always suspected that she'd pinned the whole thing on grief.


	4. Bottles

"I was wondering if you could teach me to play chess," Kirk asked. Spock looked at him in surprise. He had just placed five partially-filled liquor bottles that he had found hidden around the ship on the captain's desk.

Spock glared at him.

"I think we should discuss the possibility of certain crew members drinking on duty," he asserted.

Kirk looked away.

"I had my performance review while we were on Earth," he continued grandly, ignoring both Spock's suggestion and the bottles on the table, "and Admiral Pike said that I need to learn more patience and diplomacy."

"And you expect that learning chess will help you with this?" Spock guessed doubtfully.

"Well, I'm not sure about the patience part," Kirk mused, "But have you ever met any diplomats? They all play chess."

This much was true. Spock had met many planetary representatives that considered themselves intellectuals and were eager to play a game with a 'real Vulcan'. It had saved him from deeper discussions more than once.

"I can teach you," Spock agreed, "But I came to discuss these bottles."

Kirk pulled a cork out of one and took a sip,

"This is the good stuff," he said flippantly, "I'd put it back before whoever hid it gets mad."

Spock stared at him.

"I know that we have different moral beliefs regarding alcohol, but a real risk is presented— "

"I'll take care of it," Kirk interjected, suddenly looking annoyed.

Spock didn't believe him,

"Are you saying that you plan to talk to McCoy about—"

"I'm saying that it's none of your business."

*****

"So we're just going to start with two horsies?" Kirk asked, sounding slightly disappointed.

"Knights," Spock corrected.

"And a horsie moves two space forward and one to the side," Kirk continued.

Spock raised an eyebrow, but otherwise managed to hide his irritation.

"Yes, that is how you move a _knight._"

Kirk made his move first, and Spock quickly followed.

"How are Nyota's parents," Kirk asked, possibly trying to distract him.

"Same as always," Spock replied, without missing a beat.

"So still rude," Kirk read between the lines.

Spock nodded,

"But we kept the visit short, so it was not as bad as last time."

Kirk picked up his piece and twirled it in his fingers for a bit before putting it down. Spock followed soon after.

"Where else did you go?" Kirk asked.

"To a resort in the Dominican."

"Nice," Kirk said, hiding a surprised expression, "Lucky duck."

Spock raised an eyebrow,

"I am sure you could have arranged a similar vacation."

"Yeah, but it's just not the same without the hot girl to keep you company," Kirk replied with a wink.

"Not that I'm looking," he added, seeing a flash of anger on Spock's face. Spock gave him a patronizing glare.

"Had you gone, I am sure you would have had no difficulty finding company. You have a great degree of skill in the area."

Kirk laughed and gave a sheepish grin.

"Ahh ... but I would have had to bring Bones, and he would have spent the whole time moping about how his daughter would have loved the place."

He picked up a piece and moved it.

"Now I bet they don't get many Vulcans down there," Kirk chided, clearly trying to change the subject.

"They get a few," Spock replied, taking a second before making a move, "We saw a Vulcan family."

"Really?" Kirk mused,"I've always wondered what a Vulcan looks like in a bikini."

Spock was about to give him a dirty look when he had a sudden thought.

"I do not like being deceitful," he stated, "But if I were to tell you something, would you promise not tell how you found out?"

Kirk gave him a strange look, but nodded.

"The father of this family told me that he had left New Vulcan because the government was limiting his freedoms."

Kirk looked shocked.

"Was he for real?" he asked.

"Nyota doubted his story," Spock continued, wondering if a human's view on the subject was more valuable, "But I contacted my father, and he says that while Vulcan is breaking no Federation laws, policy is moving in that direction."

Spock had trouble reading Kirk's expression, but it seemed troubled.

"My father is trying to fight it," Spock added, "So it is important that it does not appear as if he is involving the Federation through me."

Kirk continued to stare at him.

"I am not expecting any action from you," Spock tried to explain, "But I know you are involved in proceedings that I do not know about. I am telling you just in case you do not know and the information becomes important."

"I haven't heard anything of this," Kirk replied, fiddling with his knight. Spock wasn't sure whether he found this encouraging or disappointing.

"I'm tempted to tell Starfleet," Kirk said finally, "But it will have to wait until we're somewhere where we're meeting with more Vulcans, otherwise, it would be fairly obvious where the information is coming from. Although they probably won't believe it anyhow."

Spock felt a spark of rage. Of course the Vulcans had painted themselves as such pinnacles of virtue, and now as victims, that any flaw would be doubted.

"But I'll bring it up if it seems relevant," Kirk continued, "And I will let you know if I hear anything."

He gave Spock a glance, as if he suspected this was why he had brought it up in the first place.

"Thank you," said Spock.

"Not that I'm going to be hearing much," Kirk went on, slamming down his knight, "I just got our new orders: reconnaissance in the neutral zone."

"Not the most interesting assignment," Spock commented, moving his piece.

"Oh, it has all the appealing elements," Kirk said sarcastically, "Mind-numbing surveillance. Risk of attack. Radio silence. Going quietly where no man has gone for the last three days."

He picked up his knight and slammed it down. Spock captured it.


End file.
